The message many women send short men goes something like this: Yeah, sorry, but nothing you could say or do could ever give you a chance with me. For those of you who insist that you’re not attracted to short men, you should, at least, try to have a good reason why you’re not.
Men and women both fall prey to the (remarkably persistent) myth that sexual attraction works on auto-pilot, as if we are all preprogrammed to be attracted to the ones who captivate our attention. The type of person you’re attracted to depends largely on your beliefs. My client, Alexis, comes from the most machismo family I can imagine, full of firefighters, Marines, and gobs of Old Spice. In Alexis’ family, she was the only daughter and the men in her family were brawny and tough.
He actually was a couple inches taller than me, but the question caught me off guard. probably not,” I awkwardly admitted, embarrassed that I had gone with the two-inch wedges. ” She laughed at me and said, “Oh, I promise, your priorities are going to change.” “Not about that,” I replied. When Mark asked me to his dance months later, I not-so-politely declined—“Oh, Mark, you know we are just friends”—and instead accepted a later invitation from his significantly taller but significantly less charming friend.
It was as if he had peeped in on my mental conversation earlier that afternoon, when I was debating whether I should wear wedges or flats.“I don’t really know . While he probably just asked this question out of banal curiosity—he wasn’t exactly the tallest guy in the world—little did he know how loaded this question really was. Years before this, I went to an all-female high school, which meant that if there were going to be boys present at a dance, we had to invite them. Sure, Mark was my buddy from childhood—we talked on AIM all the time. Through high school and college, and even into my early twenties, with beau after beau, height was one of the defining characteristics in what I found attractive in a man.
“Would you ever consider dating a guy who was shorter than you?
”It was a year after college, and the person asking me that was a guy I had just started casually dating.
New research has shown that being short can increase feelings of inferiority and incompetence.
Check out this equation: Dating Short Men = Uphill Battle. I haven’t conducted a study of my own on the subject, but I can assure you that scores of women of every type will say they simply aren’t attracted to short men.
Decoded, this equation refers to the tough time many short men have trying to find a romantic partner because some women won’t date someone shorter than they are. If you push them, they will hedge a bit: “I don’t know why, I’m just not.” As a psychologist, it’s not my job or place to be mean-spirited or hurtfully blunt, but it is my job to tell it like it is in reality.
Other findings show that shorter people earn less, and perhaps most significantly, it is thought that tall men have an easier time of it when they’re looking for love.
Sadly, I’m overwhelmed with anecdotal proof confirming the results of the last study.